Why am i so stupid !?!

I sit here and watch people i know make mistakes.
So what do i do? I go and make the same mistake.
I made the biggest mistake of my life and I am hoping, and praying that it WONT come back.

Anyways . . . . . It's my fault. What can i do !?!
Nothing as of now.

All i can do is sit here and wait. Patiently. Maybe. . . .

Brother. . . . . . . (gotten from an internet source)

Brother brother brother of mine,
Now that I got you and u make me float in cloud number nine,
This brother so sweet,
It took us so long to meet,
It is fun to have a brother and
For all these years I had none to bother,
Brother, u add color to my life.
When in sorrow u are there to lift,
Brother you are none other than god’s precious gift…
Oh brother I’ll listen to what you say,
Will you stay by my side?
Until my final day…

I hope . . . . . .

1) I dont have to have my wisdom teeth pulled.

2) I can bring up my English mark 33%

3) Everything will just go away and stop.

4) I'll get into the University I would like to get into.

SO >>>>>>>>

I have decided NOT to take the job. .

This is based on me not knowing where I stand.

I need to make sure I'm doing right and living right in order to minister.

Right now I'm not. LOL. So I am not taking the job for those of you who where wondering what was going on with that.

I dont know if I should or not

So . . . . . . . .
I was offered a job today. . . . .
It's only once a week, but still.
I would be working with children during their "youth" night thursady nights. . . I dont know if i should do it though.
JUst cause of where i am right now in my life . . . . . . . .

Second Chance - Hillsong

You called my name, reached out your hand,
Restored my life, and I was redeemed,
The moment you entered my life,
Amazing grace,
Christ gave that day,
My life was changed,
Went from my shoulders, fell the weight of my sin

Chorus
So it's with everything I am,
I reach out for your hand,
The hope that changed a second chance
I've gained,
On you I throw my life, casting all my fears aside,
How could greater love then this, ever possibly exist

Consume my thoughts, as I rest in you,
I'm now in love, with a Saviour,
Bearing the marks of his love

Chorus x2

Bridge
So I wait upon you now,
With my hands released to you,
Where a little faiths enough,
To see mountains lift and move,
Yeah and I wait upon you now,
Dedicated to your will,
To this love that will remain,
A love that never fails

tomorrow's a P.D. Day

so ya, tomorrow i am going to kitchener. By bus. i hate buses since everything that happened to change my perception of buses . . . . . anyways. it will be an interesting day tomorrow.

Filled With Your Glory

In my heart, in my heart, there's a fire burning

A passion deep within my soul

Not slowing down, not growing cold

An unquenchable flame that keeps burning brighter

A love that's blazing like the sun

For who You are and what You've done

And as the fire is raging on

So Your praise becomes my song

The whole earthIs filled with Your glory, Lord

Angels and men adore

(Mountains bow and oceans roar)

Creation longs for what's in store

May You be

Honored and glorified

Exalted and lifted high

Here at Your feet I lay my life

From the ends of the earth

To the heights of Heaven

Your glory, Lord, is far and wide

Through history You reign on high

From the depths of the sea

To the mountain's summit

Your power, Lord, it knows no bounds

A higher love cannot be found

So let the universe proclaim

Your great power and Your great name

Cinderella . . . Cinderella

Why do I feel like I am Cinderella? Having to do everything, not feeling like I am being appreciated. I just I don't even know what's true any more in my life. LIke I am so torn between fantancy and real life. Anyways. Confusion is starting to set in.

Life Life Life . . . .

So yes. Life.
You can't live with out, But you mad at it.
How is that even possible?

This is one thing I have found myself thinking about so much lately. I just can't seem to figure out things right now. Never mind thinking about things, I just can't think seem to think or concentrate on anything. My grades are low and I need to bring them up, but I don't know where I am going wrong.

Anyways. Thats my life in a nut shell. lol.

Greg . . . . check this out

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anyways. ya
lol
i am using it right now

Mighty to Save - Michel W. Smith

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.
Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Saviour,
He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever,
Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

My Saviour,
He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever,
Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave. (x2)

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)

My Saviour,
He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever,
Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave. (x2)

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus. (x4)

I hate . . . . . .

I hate having those huge realizations.
They always happen at the worst times.
I always have the "huge" ones all at one time.
Usually two or more at a time.
LOL
Anyways . . . .

WHY. .

Why do certain songs make you cry?
I can't listen to certain songs. LOL . . . .
Anyways, does this happen to you?
Let me know . . . . If you want to that is. :p

Cinderella - Steven Curtis Chapman.

She spins and she sways

To whatever song plays

Without a care in the world

And I'm sitting here wearing

The weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long dayAnd there's still work to do

She's pulling at me

Saying "Dad, I need you

There's a ball at the castle

And I've been invited

And I need to practice my dancing

Oh, please, Daddy, please?

"So I will dance with Cinderella

While she is here in my arms

'Cause I know something the prince never knew

Oooooh, I will dance with Cinderella

I don't wanna miss even one song

'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight

And she'll be gone...

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed

She wants to know if I approve of her dress

She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away

And I need to practice my dancing

Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella

While she is here in my arms

'Cause I know something the prince never knew

Ooh-oh ooh-oh I will dance with Cinderella don't want to miss even one song

'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight

And she'll be goneShe will be gone

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand

Just glowing and telling us all they had planned

She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away

But I need to practice my dancing

Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella

While she is here in my arms

'Cause I know something the prince never knew

Ooh-oh ooh-oh I will dance with Cinderella

I don't want to miss even one song

'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight

And she'll be gone

Sorry the next post is sooo long

Gotta Be Somebody - Nickleback

This time I wonder what it feels like

To find the one in this life

The one we all dream of

But dreams just aren't enough

So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.

I'll know it by the feeling.

The moment when we´re meeting

Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen

So I`ll be holdin’ my breath

Right up to the end

Until that moment when I find the one that I'll spend forever with

`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.

'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.

Someone to love with my life in their hands.

There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own

And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.

Somebody else that feels the same somewhere.

There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.

Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight

And damn it this feels too right

It´s just like Déjà Vu

Me standin’ here with you

So I´ll be holdin`my breath

Could this be the end?

Is it that moment when I find the one that I spend forever with?

‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there

'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.

Someone to love with my life in their hands.

There´s gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own

And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.

Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?

There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.

You can´t give up!

When you're

Lookin´ for a diamond in the rough

Because you never know when it shows up

Make sure you´re holdin` on

‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on

‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.

And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.

Someone to love with my life in their hands.

There has gotta be somebody for me Ohhhhhh.

Nobody wants to go it on their own

And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.

Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?

There `s gotta be somebody for me out there.

Nobody wants to be the last one there

And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.

Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?

There has gotta be somebody for me out there.

Looking through folders on my computer . . . . . . . .

I have no idea, where or even if I made this up. . . . so ya. . enjoy, a little more of a glance into my life.

So sweet the blood
That trembles on my lips
Staining my innocence
And tearing me further
Apart from reality
What new hope is
Has lost itself in my heart.
Too empty for even tears
To feel nothing again
Screams of pain ring
Within my own mind
My cries for help
Going to nothing.
So smile for the world
They expect your life
And give you nothing.
Fight it, don’t let them win.
Let your hands feel the blade
Run across smooth skin
And drift quietly
To a deeper nothingness

my Night was . . . . . . .

Ya so as you read in my previous blog, i had the memorial last night.
I do have to admit though, it was hard during the whole time on me.
I guess i am not as strong as i thought i was.

But no, it became really hard for me when my cousin ended up leaving to drive back home.

I guess, i started to trust her about a lot of things, and it was just hard to see her go.

The night, after my dad and i got back to the hotel, was hard. i guess, i just really didn't know what or how i was feeling.
I was confused, but not at the same time.

i don't know, i am still sorting things out. . . . .

so ya finally this wekend is starting to make sence . . . . . . I think.

So yes. i was at my aunts memorial today.
I left my house with my dad at 7:45 and made it up to sundridge for 1:30.
the memorial was nice. i feel like i can now semi move on in life.
I guess before now, i was mad and unsure about what had happened about 3 or 4 years ago. I don't know.
All i know, is now I am starting to get closure and i am not as depressed.
I do have to say though, its all cause of my cousin Kelly. . . . . . . there are no words to express my gratitude thankfulness, and love i feel for her. . . . she has truly been able to get me out of this rut, i have been in for so so long. . . . . thanks kelly. love you so so much. . . . . . (L)