Hummmmmmm

Hmmm I donno what to do.... I'm frustrated and tired....

life in general

life is hectic but whatev. all i have to do is keep trusting in You Lord, and everything will work out.
as long as i pray to you, YOu will help me through and help me cope

Lord...? Are you there...?

Lord,
I have been trying to study for the last couple hours, and i just pray to you right now, that you will grant me the mind to focus so I can do well and accomplish the best work i possible can. I love you Lord, and thank you for not letting go of me yet :) and thank you for NEVER letting go of me. grant me peace of mind.



Amen

this week so far.

soooo im still sick, and i passed out again... :( i donno whats going on, but i wish i did. :( <3 Love you Lord, but can I please have a sign...?

Why??

Why do I keep screwing up? Relationships and life. I know you hold it in your hand, but still Lord why? What are you trying to teach me? Can you please show me? Please Lord please?
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
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Humph!!!

Hmmm sooo.... Once again I'm sick. But this time I will not give up, no matter what. I have way too much to be living for to just give up.

I surprised myself again

Wow. Didn't think it was possible..... I did two essays in 7 hours. Each one was about 4 or 5 pages and about 1400 words each.....

I'm happy I'm learning how to do them quick..... But marks wise, I donno. I'm a little scared, but there is no point freating over what cannot be fixed. :)
Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.
Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.

coming up this year

coming up this year is the following... i have mountain top till april, and then expedition till december :D yay!!!! travelling to peru, NY, and Montreal :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

GAH!!!!!!!!!

sooooo........ once again.... i am sick.... :( donno with what.... but i am NOT a happy camper. :'(

School Year so far

this school year has been all over the place.
i have failed out, and crashed and burned, but somehow, for some reason, i still know that God is holding me soooo tight and safe in his hand. NOTHING can get me.
i have messed up, and fallen badly, but He doesnt care he loves me for who i am.... NOT what i did. :) :) <3 <3

I feel like crap. . . .

So as of right now. . . i am basically buckling over onto the floor. . .
I am getting huge sinus migrains. . . and I keep getting really dizzy too. . .
So this is what my christmas Break has been like so far. . . LOL. . .

Siblings

Siblings are the strangest things. . . .
LOL. . . .
Siblings always seem to get sick at the same time. . .
And with the same symptoms. . .
LOL. . . .
Siblings are awsome.. . .
And very special people. . . .

One More Day. . . . .

All I have is one more day,
One more day till I have a two weeks break,
One more day till I have to start working my butt off to get projects done.

One more day till I'm free,
One more day till I get semi away from everything.

All I have to do is keep holding on for that one more day. . . .

Ok so a quick update . . . . . .

So. . . . Christmas Break . . . . .
No idea what I'm doing. . . .
I want to go away, but I dont know where to go . . . . .
I guess I may try and get then car for a weekend . . . . .
Who knows. . . . I have time to figure it out. . . .

I Don't Know. . . I Just Don't Know. . . . .

So right now, I am extremely confused and hurt. . . . Like seriously. . . . What the heck !?!?!?!?!?! Does no one like give a hoot whats going on !?!?!?!?!?!?
I know that there ARE a couple of you, and I just have to realize that that's ok, and that ALL OF YOU never leave me hanging here alone.


Hanging by a moment- Lifehouse.
. . . . . . . . . chorus . . . . . . . . . .
Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Today and forever

Right now I am sooooo hurt and confused.
I have had a couple things occure in the last couple days/hours, and I am not sure what to do.

I just. . . . . . I feel alone, but I know I'm not, and I am going to continue to look toward the mark and keep pressing on, until my Lord comes back.

Thanks to everyone. . . . you know what for :P

Night all of you. :)

YAYAYAYAYAY! ! ! ! ! ! !

I'm just starting to become excited about Christmas . . . . . . . .
I only have one week left. Then it's pure ISU work during my break. . . . Oh well. I brought it on myself. . .

School school school. . . ..

So ya I hate school right now. . . . .
it is soooo redundant. . ..
And a little pointless. . . .
But hey you need an education. . . .

Anyways. . . we'll chat about this

~ In General ~

In general,
I dont know what to expect,
I keep on going,
But I keep on falling,
How is this even possible.

In general,
I keep on climbing,
Higher and higher,
But for some reason,
I keep falling back down,
To the hard, hard ground.

In general,
Especially now,
I need to make my decision,
And I need to make it soon,
And I need to make it tomorrow night.

In general,
I am unsure,
But after my decision is made,
I am hoping that things will be cleared up.

So, once again. . .

So once again I was sitting here, doing most/all of the crap I have to get done, and i can accross an old letter that I gave to someone special. In the letter it talked about how, I could never go on with out him/her and how I did not want to face the world, or even another day with out them. Huge relaps of thoughts, good and bad, came rushing to my mind.

1) Why was i so stupid?

2) Is this person right?

3) Why am I so weak right now?

4) What would happen if I . . . . . ?

5) What does God want me to be doing with my life after this year?

6) Will things improve?

I dont know, any more. I am trying to surrender everything I have to the ONE I know i need to go to, but it is not helping. So whats next !?! I dont know. Only one person knows for sure, and He isn't going to tell me until the timing is right. I guess I'll keep on fighting and hopefully sometime, preferably soon, i'll get through and see the light at the end of the challenge, and just realize/think about how i was able to over come so many things in such a short amount of time.